Forever Changed
by GateSeeker2
Summary: Today is the most special of days. There is a wedding and the words exchanged between Sam and Jack will forever change them both.


**Title:** "Forever Changed"

**Copyright:** © 2004

**Author:** "GateSeeker2"

**E-mail: **gateseeker2 "at" netzero "dot" com

**Status:** Work in Progress and will be posted in parts

**Sequel/Series:** Three parts total.

**Summary:** Today is the most special of days. There is a wedding and the words exchanged between Sam and Jack will forever change them both.

**Season:** Late Eight

**Classification:** Original Episode ? Future Idea ?

**Spoilers:** Mainly just vague references - "Hathor," "Show and Tell," "Divide and Conquer," "Window of Opportunity," "Frozen," "Abyss," "Grace," "Threads"

**Category:** Angst/Romance

**Major Characters:** Sam Carter and Jack O'Neill

**Pairing:** Sam/?

**Rating:** PG-13

**Legend: **

Ellipses (...) - indicates a pausing or a hesitation in a person's speech as well as indicating unfinished sentences.

Words in ALL CAPITALS indicates words that the character is attempting to emphasize.

**Warnings:** None.

**File Size:** 82.5 KB as a Microsoft Word Document

**Archive:** and . Reproducing or posting on other sites is not permitted.

**Disclaimer:** All publicly recognizable characters and places are the property of MGM, World Gekko Corp and Double Secret productions. This piece of fan fiction was created for entertainment not monetary purposes and no infringement on copyrights or trademarks was intended. Previously unrecognized characters and places, and this story, are copyrighted to the author. Any similarity to real persons, living or dead is coincidental and not intended by the author. I just have fun playing with the characters for awhile. Trust me, no harm will come to them in this story. ;-)

**Author's Notes:** I was just brainstorming how Sam's wedding might go. I started envisioning how she might look and who all would be involved in that special day. Most women dream of a special wedding day and long for those unique memories. This story may hold some twists for some of you – so be ready.

**Other Stories:** If you like this story, check out my others posted to this website: "Worth It," "I Love My Life," "Biggest Decision," and "Waiting for the Dawn." Let me know what you think. Thanks, and enjoy!

"**Forever Changed"**

**Part 1 – "The Heart Knows"**

Her life would forever be changed today, and she was eager for the possibilities. Today Samantha Jean Carter was getting married. It was hard to believe that today was her wedding day. This day was something that she had wanted for so long. Having been engaged before, she knew what a bad relationship was like since that was far from ideal. But this relationship was good. Sam was marrying someone whom she loved and loved her dearly as well. This was a man of commitment and devotion and would die for her if needed, but she had had too many would be suitors die in her life. She just hoped for a long and happy life together. Sam and her fiancé weren't expecting the life of fairytales; she merely desired good old fashioned normal reality.

But now, today at this minute, everything did seem like a fairytale. Everything was perfect. The flowers were all arranged. The candles, thanks to Teal'C, were all lit. The groomsmen were assisting the ushers and busily seating arriving guests. Romantic music was playing softly throughout the chapel. Cassie was tending to last minute tasks here and there while adorned in her Maid of Honor dress. Daniel was sitting with Teal'C in the side rear foyer explaining to him the various rituals of Earth weddings, and, instead of Daniel being the Best Man, he was oddly enough standing on Sam's side as a pseudo bridesmaid between Cassie and Sam's sister-in-law Wendy. Since Janet's death, Sam's relationship with Daniel had deepened, and he became even more like a "girlfriend" to her. However, he hated it when she referred to him as such – even in jest. Wendy was keeping her children entertained in a room down the hall until time for them to perform their duties as flower girl and ring bearer. Sam's father along with General George Hammond could be heard standing in the rear hallway contentedly greeting the attendees. George had generously agreed to walk Sam down the aisle before Sam even knew if Jacob was going to be available for the wedding considering that Jacob had still been away with the Tok'Ra until recently. So everyone that was involved in this wedding was present and accounted for, and she assumed that her handsome groom was nervously waiting with the chaplain at the front of the chapel in a room directly off to the right of the Alter.

Sam was currently by herself in the fair sized room off to the left at the rear of the chapel where she had been getting ready. After finishing getting dressed, Sam stood and unashamedly admired herself in the full length mirror. Not trying to be vain, she couldn't help but stare at herself. She was so surprised and nervous by her own appearance. Sam had never felt so beautiful. The dress was truly gorgeous. It was sort-of antique off-white satin like fabric that flowed about her while she walked as if the wind itself was wrapped around her. The dress was simple in design yet wholly suited Sam's personality. It was strapless with a scooped cleavage front that was snugly fitted with gathered fabric across the front of the bodice that continued to the waist. The waist was designed with a "V" pattern that served to elongate her torso. From the waist, the fabric then continued straight down to the floor with a modest flared train in the back. There was a flat, not puffy or large, yet long graceful bow attached to the back of the dress at the waist and in some ways was hardly noticeable. The dress was devoid of pearls or lace or trim. Other than the bow and the satin like fabric covered 30 buttons up the back, the dress was flowing, and the only accents needed were the mere movement of the dress itself. Wearing her mother's jewelry, Sam wore a pearl choker style necklace with a dangling center teardrop; it accentuated her neck and shoulders. There was a sparkling antique Blue Topaz stone, about the size of a penny, set in the middle of the necklace from which the teardrop style pearl hung. The teardrop theme was reiterated with her earrings that hung about one and a half inches. Since the stone in the necklace was blue it was part of her 'something blue.' Cassie had insisted that Sam stick closely to the wedding poem, so Cassie loaned Sam Janet's pearl bracelet that matched perfectly and therefore became the 'something borrowed' part of the classic traditional wedding poem. Sam had chosen to forego a veil, but she did have a subtle head dress – more of a circular tiara type of headdress yet without excessive ornamentation; instead it had some simple flower and pearl like embellishments. She looked absolutely beautiful as if she were ready to be crowned queen. At that moment Samantha Carter would have rivaled if not surpassed any princess in appearance at a royal gala. Sam was truly a fairytale princess today.

As Sam closed her eyes in attempts of calming her breathing and her nerves, there was a very soft knock on the door that prompted her attention.

Turning toward the door she inquired, "Yes?"

The door barely opened and a man's voice shyly asked, "May I come in?"

Before Sam could attempt an answer, the door began to slowly open and a dashing figure of General O'Neill emerged in full dress uniform looking quite stylish and impressive. Sam always admired the way he looked in his uniform, and now with shining stars on his epaulets she couldn't quite manage to quell the slightly more rapid pulse that stirred within her when seeing him in uniform. Jack O'Neill was definitely an attractive man. Jack stepped into the room as his eyes became riveted to the stunning bride.

Sam was startled by his appearance in the bridal room. "You can't come in here!" She stated worriedly as her eyes sparkled wide with unbelief.

With slightly arched eyebrows, he said confused and slightly surprised, "Really?"

"Yes, you're not supposed to see the bride before the wedding." She now scolded him playfully.

"Ahh...," he nodded and stepped fully into the room as the door shut behind him. A sheepish grin was now displayed on his face. "Well, I only think that applies if you were to be...my bride." His voice attempted playfulness but quickly turned remorseful and the grin faded.

Recognition dawned on Carter. "Oh!...yeah...right!...sorry...Sir." She jokingly tried to laugh off the sudden wave of tension she felt coursing through her. "I'm just a little nervous...I guess."

Jack was about six feet away from Sam when he unexpectedly stopped and began to be amazed by her beauty. He allowed his eyes to begin admiring her presence from the top of her golden hair down her loving face. He paused at her deep blue eyes which were radiant with anticipation and perhaps a little uncertainty at what it was he was doing. But he managed a subtle wagged eyebrow and continued to peruse her while she stood there – waiting silently. Jack let his eyes drift down to her sensuous lips that were formed into a quasi-grin revealing a few teeth. But he didn't stop long because he was determined to take in her entire image before the moment was gone forever. He traveled down over her chin then along the length of her neck to the elegant choker. He was taken aback how the stone in the necklace accentuated her incredible eyes. Next he journeyed down to her cleavage and the tasteful swell of her breast that was enhanced by the tight fitting bodice and couldn't help but allow a faint grin of appreciation creep onto his face. He admired how her tan played well against the slightly off-white color of her gown. Jack enjoyed the long slender womanly look of her sleeveless arms as a pearl bracelet punctuated her right wrist. He refused to look to her left hand. Her slim waist was next on his agenda, and it was accentuated by the straight long flowing skirt. Jack's eyes followed down the length of the dress as he imagined the long slender toned legs that were hid underneath. He envisioned that those legs were probably encased in sheer lacy stockings supported with a garter. When his eyes finally rested on the tips of manicured and ultra feminine toes that peeked out from strappy heels beneath the dress, he slowly allowed his eyes to move uncensored back up the form of the woman before him. Jack O'Neill didn't want to miss an inch of this visual buffet.

Sam immediately found herself riveted in place as Jack began his glance, no his perusal, no his inventory, or was it his inspection of her. At first she felt as if she was getting a review from her commanding officer. And she had never before been so keenly reminded of being out of uniform as right now. Trying hard to not stand at attention she thought she would have felt more comfortable if the command to "present arms" was given and she could have simply held out her P-90 for inspection. Yet, however uncomfortable she might have felt initially, she was now enthralled at how slowly Jack, no the General, seemed to be gazing upon her. He was soaking up every inch of her being as if he was parched, and it was as if her body could feel everywhere his eyes were drinking. Her skin burned under his scrutiny.

Once he had made his way back up to her throat, Jack could tell by the splotchy red skin now appearing across her chest that she was obviously flustered. He also noticed that she might have even been somewhat uneasy as evidenced by the slight heaving of her chest indicating a change to her breathing. Jack was actually surprised that Carter had been so quiet and still during his apparent male curiosity visual excursion. After all, this behavior was something that he had never done in their eight years of military decorum. The rapid glance over that he had first given all those years ago as she entered the SGC briefing room that first day was close to this piercing gaze and yet it was so far apart from what was happening now. However, General O'Neill hadn't realized that she was enjoying watching him watch her. She had never before experienced him look so deliberately, unashamedly or transparently looking at her. He was definitely approving of what he saw and she was relishing every moment. Today, she realized that he was truly appreciating her as a woman, and it donned on her that this was something that she had always wanted him to do.

Since she wasn't noticeably complaining, Jack lingered his gaze on the elegant throat of the woman he had known for so long for a few more seconds, probably longer than necessary. Nevertheless, his entire gawking down and up probably took no more than ten seconds, but it seemed like they must have entered a time dilation of sorts and seconds now seemed like hours.

His head was tilted forward, so instead of raising his head completely, he merely lifted his eyes to meet hers.

She saw depth in his eyes. His normally brown eyes appeared almost black. What is that? Desire? Sam's breath hitched with a slight intake of excitement before Jack further raised his head and somehow the heat of the moment temporarily dissipated.

Jack knew that he had pushed the envelope with Sam just now, and he didn't want to make her any more uncomfortable or on display than he already had. Yes, she was, as Hathor once said, 'an exceedingly and exceptionally beautiful woman,' but she was also a friend, a colleague, an officer, and deserving of respect. So, he shifted his weight on his feet, stretched out his arms and donned his most quirky grin. "Wow! You clean up good Colonel."

Sam exhaled with a slight chuckled and smiled. "Well, thanks General. I'm glad you approve." But it had been that previous look in his eye and not his words just now that told her without a doubt that he did approve. She lowered her head and smoothed the front of her dress with her hands somewhat absentmindedly.

The fellow officer had responded in a joking manner as Jack had hoped. He was trying to ease some of the tension that he had just caused, but the light hearted moment wasn't going to last.

He swallowed hard and quietly said, "No really Sam...," uh oh that got her attention - the use of her first name. She shot her eyes back up to meet the General's. "...You're absolutely gorgeous. I mean that dress is stunning and you look...beautiful in it." There was no lust in his voice only sweet sincerity and genuine support and maybe even a bit of awe.

They shared another brief gaze before Sam replied faintly, "Thank you."

Jack looked down to his uniform service hat where his fingers kept stroking the brim as he took a few tentative steps nearer to Sam.

"So..." His voice trailed off.

"So?" She asked unsure of what he wanted to say or why he was even here in the bridal room.

"So...," he began uncertainly, "I...just...well...I...ah...just wanted to come and wish you...luck." There he had gotten it out; even though that was not what he had wanted to say, but could he tell her what he really had come prepared to say?

"Oh...well...thank you...Sir."

"Sir." He said it quietly still looking at his hat. It was always 'Sir' or 'Colonel' or now 'General.' Just once he wished she would call him Jack. Just once he wished that things could have different. No, many times he had wished for so many things to have been different.

She pretended to not hear his last utterance.

"Sir, I really want to thank you for coming to my wedding. It means a lot." She hoped her voice could convey what she wouldn't allow her heart to say. General O'Neill had been the only guest to not return the RSVP card with their invitation – either way yes or no. She remembered the day when she confronted him about it in his office. He had made a big scene about needing to stay at the SGC and supervise things. She finally asked point blank for him to come and be here for her and share in her joy with her, and she forced herself to say, 'please,' before he caved and subtly nodded his response.

He turned to his proven sarcastic quips in hopes of keeping his voice from betraying him. "Well, I had to come see ya get hitched, Carter."

She laughed slightly at that.

"Besides," he continued somberly now, "I told you I'd come...." But he had no intention of staying. He had already coordinated, unbeknownst to anyone else, with Master Sergeant O'Brien, gate technician, to page him exactly at fourteen hundred hours – the same time that Lt. Colonel Carter's wedding was to begin – with some prearranged yet made-up urgent gate matter. This way he would have a "legitimate" excuse to not stay for her wedding – should anyone ask. Then he would return to the skeleton crew guarding the SGC and the stargate so that he could proceed to have MSgt. O'Brien run a full length diagnostic on the gate while he sulked alone in his office.

She just nodded. She had heard the timbre of his voice beginning to change slightly and didn't want him to elaborate on anything else.

"Well, it really means a lot to Pete and I to have you here, Sir."

He just stared at her for a moment. She always insisted on keeping them apart, even now, as if the cavern separating them hadn't grown wider and icier enough over the years. And saying Pete's name was as good as driving one more wedge between them. But this time, Jack was determined, and he was not to be deterred. This was his last chance, or was it his first chance? Was it even his chance to take? He was quickly becoming bitter for the wasted time and missed opportunities over the years, and he didn't need her to remind him of her fiancé.

"Well, we've been to Netu and back. Been infested with snakes, and died who knows how many times, Carter. So, unless 'ol Shanny dies today, this oughta' be a cake walk right?" This time the sarcasm in his voice was more biting than comical while his eyes appeared hungry for revenge.

His words shocked her. Why was he trying to hurt her? But something inside her instantly told her that he was reverting to his harsh witticisms as a cover for what he was really feeling. She knew better than to engage him in banter when he was like this. The best tactic would be to just wait him out. However, she didn't have long to wait.

"Listen,...Sam...," his voice suddenly softened realizing what he had just done. Hurting her was not what he had planned. Trying to avoid what he had just said, he tried to change the topic in the direction of why he really came, "I know Daniel already got you and...," he merely waved his hand in a non-committal gesture refusing to say the groom's name, "...a gift from Danny, Teal'C and I for the wedding...but...well... I just wanted to give you something...more...personal...I guess." While he faltered over his words, he reached into his right pants pocket and pulled out a small flat rectangular red velvet box.

"I just wanted you to have this."

Sam looked down at his open palm and the box resting there timidly before glancing back up to his eyes. His eyes had softened slightly. As she outstretched her left hand to retrieve the box, it was as if she felt a current of energy surge between their two hands in the charged atmosphere.

Opening the box Sam saw a somewhat large heart shaped locket. The cover of the locket was intertwined and swirled in a mix of hammered silver and gold. It was beautiful. She looked up at the General who was simply waiting for a reaction. Sam removed the necklace from the box and noticed that it was on a rather long chain. The locket was more of a pendant necklace. She placed the box aside on a nearby table then proceeded to open the locket. When she opened it, she was astonished. The inside right portion of the locket was clearly a Purple Heart medal that had been attached with hinges to the front of the locket.

It was a rather interesting gift and the craftsmanship was exquisite. Looking up at her Colonel, she didn't know exactly what to say. "It's...beautiful...Sir."

"Well, I know it's not a typical wedding gift, but...I...thought...you know...hearts always go with weddings." He fumbled for an explanation.

Her eyes implored him to continue.

"I have this friend who's a jeweler and does pretty good work." He didn't want to say anymore, but did. "So...I had him take my first purple heart and turn it into something...practical... I guess... you know...maybe it could fit into that 'something old, something new' poem for your wedding." He tried to be humorous.

"Well, it's certainly special, and it's 'new' to me, Sir. Thank you. But, I can't take your first purple heart." She tried to extend it to him with her right hand. But he managed to hold off her gesture with his right hand as his mind was saying, 'but you already have my heart Sam.'

The back of their hands met with that same heightened charge, and he stated, "No, you keep it. Besides I've got plenty of other purple hearts...and it's already set with a locket and inscription. It wouldn't do me any good now." He couldn't help but brush her hand slightly with his.

His words caught her off guard. "An inscription?" Her eyes inquired and then she forgot their contact to open the locket again. She looked to the left side of the locket which was covered in a smooth coating of polished gold.

She read the inscription and instantly fought back tears.

The inscription read: "A heart keeps many secrets, a wounded heart – more."

She stared at the man before her and didn't know what to say. Somehow these two soldiers never could talk about their heart secrets. They were still looking at each other when a soft knock was heard at the door thus breaking their spell.

Jack took a few steps back and Sam gathered the chain with the locket and palmed the necklace in her right hand as Jacob appeared in the doorway.

"Hey Sammie. You almost ready?" Jacob stepped into the room. He and George had seen Jack try to enter the chapel unnoticed through a side door and attempt to slip into the bridal room almost ten to fifteen minutes ago. However, a General, especially one clothed in full service dress blues, didn't go anywhere in Colorado Springs without being noticed. Jacob and George were dying to know what was happening between these two. Jacob had needed to step into the room to remind Sam of the time remaining until the wedding ceremony was to start, so this was a good way to do a little recon. Upon entering the bridal room, Selmak quickly sensed that they had walked into a somewhat poignant scene, but Jacob tried to play it cool and act as if he didn't notice a thing.

"Hey Jack." He said walking over to the junior General and slapping a fatherly hand on Jack's right shoulder while reaching out to shake his hand. "Good to see you Jack. Glad you could make it. Heck, I'm glad that I could make it!" Jacob had only returned a couple of weeks ago believe it or not from his long imposed Tok'Ra exile. And when he returned he was so sick it took about a week or more for him and Selmak to recover from their most recent near fatal illness. Jacob hadn't even known that Sam was engaged. When first learning about Sam's engagement upon their recovery, his mind, and the other little mind in his head, hastily thought that something must have been worked out within the rules and regulations that he knew so well because Jacob was certain that his future son-in-law would be none other than Jack O'Neill. However, before he could open his mouth and insert his foot with his assumptions, Sam had proceeded to tell him all about Detective Pete Shanahan. Jacob remembered just sitting dumbfounded on her sofa as she explained her plans. Between Sam rattling off her many wedding ideas and Selmak constantly screaming inside his head, _"NO! No Samantha! You can NOT marry this human! You must marry Jack! Tell her Jacob!," _Jacob had truly come down with a dreadful headache that day. It had hurt so bad, he would have thought a Reetou was standing nearby.

Jacob quickly returned from his musings and noticed that Sam had turned away and was busying herself with a tissue. Jacob just continued. "So Jack, doesn't my baby girl look like a princess!" Jacob's voice was full of pride and affection, and yet there was the slightest attempt to evoke an emotional response from Jack.

Jack nodded, grimaced then humbly said, "Yes Jacob, she does."

Jacob didn't know if Sam was making a mistake by marrying this Detective. Heck, he didn't really even know this Detective, but something about it just didn't sit well with him, or Selmak. Jacob loved his daughter very much, and with the help of Selmak he had developed a much stronger bond than he had ever imagined having with her. But, he didn't know what to say right now, and surely if Sam and Jack had wanted to be "together" then they would have found a way by now, right?

"_Jacob, you must say something." _Selmak urged silently.

"_What do you suggest that I say, oh wise one?" _Jacob was pleading; he really could use some of her touchy feely influence right about now.

"_I do not know, but they appear miserable. They need to be together."_ The Tok'Ra was saddened by the lengths of denial that these two Tauri would go.

"_Hey! You know that and I know that! Heck, evidently EVERYONE knows that! But I guess no one has bothered to tell them!" _Jacob shouted back to his constant companion.

"_So tell them now Jacob."_ Selmak pleaded one last time.

"_I can't Sel. Besides I don't know what to say. You say something!" _Jacob was really frustrated.

"_It is not for me to say my friend." _Selmak stated.

"_Yeah, well, it's not my place either...I guess." _He sighed inwardly. _"I just suspected they'd end up together...somehow." _

Jacob sensed the regret and sadness within Selmak. Realizing that his silent conversation with Selmak had stretched on a bit too long, he nodded his head and clapped his hands together. Jacob said the only thing that he could think of, "Well...I guess this is it. No turning back." He risked a glance between Sam and Jack and was not surprised at the stillness of their facades. There was almost no reaction. You would have thought that one of them was headed toward the firing squad for an execution. Looking at his watch, it read 1:45pm. "Ok, Sammie you have fifteen minutes. I'll come back and get you at five till." He walked over to her and grasped her chin softly to lift her face to him. He smiled and was rewarded with misty eyes. "Sam, I just want you to be happy. That's all your mother and I ever wanted. Find your happiness." They both nodded their heads and he leaned in and placed a gentle kiss on her left cheek.

Jack had remained in the room.

Jacob crossed back directly in front of Jack and gathered himself to his full height which was still a bit shorter than Jack, but nevertheless this retired Major General combined Tok'Ra Ambassador could still be intimidating in his uniform.

Looking straight into Jack's now guarded eyes, Jacob clearly spoke, "Well, Jack, you ONLY have ten minutes." Jacob glared as if giving an unspoken hint or order: 'Say what you've come here to say, son. Please, before it's too late.' Jacob didn't even know if Jack even had anything to say, but he suspected. Sure, Jack might not have been his first choice for Sam, but Jacob had witnessed the increasing levels of devotion and commitment over the years between this man and woman and it obviously ran deeper than mere comradeship ever could. And, Jacob had come to trust that Jack would never have done anything to jeopardize her life or her career. Jacob would have been livid if they had ever broken regulations to indulge in a torrid affair, but now he thought that their strict adherence to the ever present rules and regulations had strangled the very life out of them. Yes, he hoped Jack would say something. However, rules and regulations were still in the way, so he doubted if resolution would ever come for these two loyal yet stubborn officers.

Jack was unyielding and gave nothing away. He merely stared back at the superior officer turned friend.

Jacob simply shook his head and moved around Jack as he headed for the door. Once he reached the door, he turned slightly and nonchalantly added, "Oh yeah, don't forget to kiss the bride Jack. It's supposed to bring good luck." And with that he departed. Had either Sam or Jack been looking at Jacob, they might have noticed the gleam and twinkle in his eyes.

Well, needless to say, Jacob's last words surprised them both – so much that they both looked at the now closed door and then each other. Sam blushed a light red and Jack had that deer caught in a head light look.

Clearing his voice and looking back down at his hat that he had been fidgeting with all this time, Jack said, "Oh don't worry Carter...I'm not going to..."

He was promptly interrupted with Sam saying, "No, that's OK...," her own courage was surprising her but she knew for certain that this was most likely going to be her only time to kiss Jack without alien influence or the weight of duty, and somehow kissing Jack O'Neill on her wedding day just made sense.

He looked up at her not sure what he was hearing.

"I mean...I hear that it is...supposed to bring...good luck." She spoke as nervous as a high school girl asking for the star hunk to kiss her in a crowded hallway.

Did Jack just hear right? Not only did he get permission from Sam's father to kiss her, but she herself was encouraging him to kiss her? Could he? Should he? Would he? Oh heck, this was it! 

He placed his hat on the crossbar of the nearby chair and strode confidently to Sam. His heart was racing. Jack was about to kiss Sam and she would remember it this time. How many times had he dreamed of kissing Sam? Kissing her on her wedding day? Kissing her on their wedding day? He was determined to make this a kiss that she would never forget. It would be a kiss that would drive Detective Pete Shanahan from her mind and heart for good. Jack would kiss her long and hard, and she would know of all the love that he held for her in his heart all these years. The kiss would speak all the things that he was never allowed to say. There would be no more secrets. His mouth would definitely do the talking yet without words.

Jack stood mere inches away from Sam now. There faces were nearly touching. He placed his left hand gently on her waist and Sam drew in an impulsive gasp of air. Then his right hand reached up to her face and his index and middle fingers lightly touched her beautiful cheek. With his touch, her eyes fluttered closed but only briefly. She was determined to watch Jack until the very last moment. She wanted and needed to see him approach her.

He leaned in. Eyes locked. Their lips parted. His breathing was becoming irregular. His mind raced with all of his desires for her.

She had never wanted anything so much as to feel Jack's lips upon hers. The desire she felt for this man over that last eight years was real and intense and right. The only thing she wanted in life was to kiss Jack O'Neill – forever.

Jack brushed his index finger over her now open lips, and she felt a quiver run down her spine. As he traced the outline of her soft lips, he saw in her eyes her desire and willingness to let him kiss her. Jack bent his head down nearing her lips. Sam closed her eyes eager to kiss him as their breath was beginning to mingle.

Jack placed the softest of kisses near her lips, beside them, on her cheek. Then he pressed his cheek against hers and wrapped his arms around her in the tightest of hugs. He had wanted to kiss her. He wanted to make her his. But, who was he kidding. She'd already made her choice. She didn't want him. OK, so she might have wanted him for just right now, but not for all time – not forever. He couldn't kiss her now because for the rest of his life he would want to kiss her again and again and again. And, that just wasn't going to happen. He had kissed her freely in that time loop years ago without her knowledge already knowing that that one kiss might be all he would ever have of her. Didn't she know, one kiss from her could never satisfy him. Only having her – all of her – forever – could truly satisfy his longing for her.

Sam was instantly startled. Instead of receiving her long awaited heart stopping kiss – one that she had even hallucinated on occasion, she was greeted with a chaste brotherly kiss and a bear hug. Why didn't he want to kiss her? She had seen the desire in his eyes? She knew he had seen it in hers. Was she just a fool? Perhaps Jack O'Neill never had those types of feelings for her? Well, if he didn't, then she was right to move on. Right? She was happy, right? She could be happy without Jack, right?

Jack pulled back slightly taking her face in his palms. He saw the look of uncertainty and confusion clearly displayed across her face? Her look was so innocent and hurt. He couldn't disappoint her – not entirely. So, this time he did lean in and place the faintest of kisses upon her lips. It was almost so light that it was hardly felt by either of them.

Thinking he had changed his mind, she had managed to bring her arms up to his shoulders and was attempting to draw Jack in for a deeper kiss. It took all of Jack's strength to pull back. Pulling back this time and slightly shaking his head, Jack gazed longingly into her eyes and said with much emotional turmoil, "GOODBYE...Samantha." He purposefully emphasized his words then withdrew his rough hands from her soft face. He turned to retrieve his hat and headed towards the door.

Sam was startled by his parting words. "Wh...what?" She didn't know what to make of all that just happened but now he was saying 'goodbye'. "What do you mean... 'goodbye,' Jack? You can't leave. You're staying for my wedding aren't you?" She almost pleaded for understanding. Sam was still so dazed that she didn't realize what she was saying or that she had called him by his name.

Jack paused just as he was opening the door then closed it and turned slightly towards Sam without releasing his tight grip on the door knob. "No. I can't." He said resolutely.

"But I thought..."

He cut her off, "Samantha." Even from across the room he looked deep into her eyes as his own eyes were puddling hastily with heavy tears. "The only wedding of yours...I want to attend...is the one where you're marrying...me."

Her eyes widened in surprise as she just grasped what he was implying. Brigadier General Jonathan "Jack" O'Neill was in love with her. He wanted to marry her. She stared at him finding it hard to believe that he had just acknowledged something so secretive and special and clearly against regulations. She didn't know what to say.

Jack knew that he had left her uncertain and visibly speechless, so he continued with a voice so strained yet touching. He growled out, "Watching you marry...another man...would be more tortuous than anything Ba'al could have ever done to me." He managed to croak out his explanation before pausing slightly to add, "I'm sorry Sam. I'm just not that strong. Not this time."

She didn't know how but she managed to take a few steps toward him as she unconsciously griped the locket firmly in her hand. He could tell that she was about to entreat him to stay so he aborted her attempt, "Don't ask me." Because the implied was 'if you ask me I can't say no – not to you – you know that.' He'd do anything for her and had on several occasions throughout their years together. But this time, he had to do what was best for him – for his own self-preservation.

"Be happy Carter. You deserve it." One lone tear dared to defy the emotionally battered General's attempts to stave off any passion and it began to roll pronouncedly down his right cheek in what would seem to be agonizingly slow-motion. However, the General refused to acknowledge the tear and made no effort to wipe it away. This time he allowed himself to be seen as vulnerable. This time he was merely a man willingly sharing the depth of love and pain that he felt toward the woman whom he loved more than his own life. This time was so reminiscent of the first time behind the Apophis' force shield. But this time was to be his last time.

With nothing more to be said, Jack turned, opened the door and stepped through to a new definition of existence. His life, like hers, would forever be changed today.

**The End**

**Author's Note: **Well? Did you like it? It was a heart wrenching chore to write. I guess Sam got herself into this. But, will she get herself out? Should she? My writing has been hitting some pretty steep hills lately. It's been a while since I've posted anything and it's always nice to know if people are thinking. Thanks for reading.


End file.
